1)
A furniture manufacturer visited Sweden to place an order of timber for his factory. He went to a disco on his first night and met a beautiful blonde girl at the bar.
As neither spoke or understood the language of the other, they had to use graphic expression for communication. He drew a glass with a drink and an ice cute, she agreed, and they both had a drink.
The music was inviting so he drew a pair of people dancing. She agreed again. They danced and danced before returning to the bar.
The girl then drew a wardrobe, bedside tables and a bed. Looking at the drawing, his face lit up. "Yes, yes!" he exclaimed. "I'm a furniture manufacturer!"
(Antonio Queiroz, 2004)
2)
Here is the note i received from a parent explaining why her daughter was absent from school:
"Please excuse Jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the Sunday Paper off the porch, and when we found it on Monday, we thought it was Sunday. "
(Anne De Chastonay, 2004)
3)
As the troubleshooter for computers at the school where i work, i heard a colleague complain that her machine was running slowly.
I noticed she had almost 200 items in her trash folder.
"No wonder you're having trouble," i told her. "Don't you ever empty your trash bin?"
"Well, no," she replied, clearly flustered. "In our household, that's my husband's job."
(Diane Charlebois, 2004)
4)
Some friends formed a company built round an innovative idea for an online business and discussed what to name the venture.
"We'll have to call it Imagination," one passionate participant cried out. Everyone thought the idea over for a minute before a voice of reason asked, "Are you sure you want your business card to read 'Imagination Limited' ?"
(Vikrant Kothari, 2004)
5) This may not be a joke really...
Noted at the bottom of a receipt for funeral arrangements: "Thank you. Please come again." :O
(Carmela A. Henriquez, 2004)
6)
Our intern was not very swift. One day, he turned to a secretary. "I'm almost out of typing paper. What do i do?"
"Just use copy-machine paper," she said to him.
With that, the intern took his last remaining piece of blank typing paper, put it in the photocopier and proceeded to make five blank copies.
(Unknown, 2004)
7)
Hospital regulations require a wheelchair for patients being discharged. However, while working as a student nurse, i found one elderly gentleman-already dressed and sitting on the bed with a suitcase at his feet-who insisted he didn't need my help to leave the hospital. After a chat about rules being rules, he reluctantly let me wheel him to the elevator. On the way down, i asked if his wife was meeting him.
"I don't know," he said. "She's still upstairs in the bathroom changing out of her hospital gown."
(Patsy Dancey, 2004)
8)
We invited an elderly man who lived alone on a neighbouring farm to join us for the Sunday evening meal and were chatting afterwards when a fierce thunderstorm struck. We suggested to our guest that he stay at our house for the night, thinking we'd save him getting soaked riding his bike home.
Obviously delighted, the old chap soon afterwards excused himself. We assumed he had gone to the bathroom, but quite some time later he appeared like the proverbial drowned rat with his pyjamas in a plastic bag under his arm.
(Errol Menkens, 2004)
9)
I was talking abut how addictive games on the Internet can be. "I know," said my daughter. "I've been playing them way too much."
"Why do you say that?" I asked.
"Just before i start dreaming at night a blue strip appears with the words, 'Loading, please wait.' "
(Verla Gayle Jordan, 2004)
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